When the Members of the Otterburn Society made their annual pilgrimage to the wilds of Northumberland for their Twenty Sixth annual Conference in the November of 2007,  they could never have realised that they were about to witness to one of the most disastrous Otterburns on record !

There would be no soup or sandwiches,  no Champagne,  no toggies,  no cigars,  no roast beef sandwiches,  no last post,   in fact Otterburn XXVI was to become known as one of the most appallingly organised Otterburn Society Conferences (OSCs) since Cpt Beattie's legendary monumental cock up of 2003 !

Mr Alastair Scarborough, The Director of Music and procurement of Champagnes, and Treasurer to the Otterburn Society, would be in disgrace.

One theme that has characterised the annual conferences of the Otterburn Society over any other is the preservation of tradition!

This is not to say that the members are adverse to change,  far from it !  Indeed over the years,  the traditions of the society have been frequently enhanced and are regularly developed.

^  A distressed Treasurer,  Alastair Scarborough, "Organiser" of Otterburn XXVI     

An excellent example of this is a tradition recently re-introduced by a member of the society from his undergraduate days - the red linen suit.  Mr Scarborough delighted the Society at Otterburn XXV by presenting each member with an individually tailored red suit for their use at Otterburn, and other similarly important occasions.

Members were so impressed by this,  that,  despite the great coffee scandal of 81,  Mr Scarborough was rewarded by being elected to the office of Treasurer of the Society,   honouring him with the responsibility of maintaining the traditions of the society for another year and the safe custody of the society’s funds.

Never has so much trust been misguided in the history of Otterburn,  as members were to see !

The last week in November 2007 started like any other.  The members met at the office of the Chairman for lunch with Dr Hettiaratchi and later for aperitifs on the Friday.  Members enjoyed further refreshments on the Friday evening followed by an evening of dancing girls and limited success at the tables.  A traditional Turkish breakfast was taken. !

It is a tradition for members to meet at the Percy Arms Otterburn for a lunch of soup and sandwiches on the Saturday of Otterburn.  Members did meet for lunch at the Percy Arms,  but unfortunately, to the particular disappointment of the vice-secretary Mr Featherstone,  the Treasurer had not arranged for soup and sandwiches to be provided. It is sincerely hoped that this tradition of taking soup & sandwiches at the Percy Arms will be re-instated next year! Karl did have a quiet word with the staff of the Percy Arms and some soup and some basic sandwiches were eventually provided.

^ The Percy Arms,  Otterburn,  Traditional venue for soup & Sandwiches

The good news was that a reservation had been made in good time for our annual conference at the Otterburn Tower Hotel, Otterburn,  “the natural home of the Society”. 

^  Mr Flack presents the new Peason IED defeat mine roller system *           

^  Mr Flack explains the towed IED mine roller *

The first of an excellent day of presentations started as the members arrived back to the Tower after the short walk from the village. Members were met by a 25.3 Tonne British Army Foden GS 6X6 Recovery Vehicle parked on the terrace in front of the Tower hotel ! To the great interest of the members,  this vehicle had been fitted a Pearson Engineering mine roller system on the front AND on the back ! Mr Randall Flack,  MD of Pearson Engineering,  was first to make his presentation on this novel concept mine roller system developed by his company.  A limited operational demonstration was made of the equipment along the terrace of the Tower,  much to the delight of members. Mr Flack continued his company's presentation from the comfort of the Green room.

 * In the interests of the safety of the men and women deployed in harms way,  images of this equipment have been obscured.

It is a long held tradition that members conclude their presentation by the inflation of a toggie. Unfortunately,  this year,  the Treasurer,  Mr Scarborough,   had forgotten to procure any toggies.  It is sincerely hoped that the tradition of using toggies will be re-instated next year! Having said this,  Karl did manage to procure some toggies locally and the very honourable former Laird of Fingesk was able to despatch the first toggie of the day with suitable aplomb,  before the second presentation started.

Mr Firth made an excellent presentation on how to execute a leveraged buyout of a company and how important it is to “integrate in appropriate groups,  expose oneself to opportunity and never underestimate a man's greed ”.  He also explained how to identify suitable companies for purchase.

Andy Jordan made a very entertaining presentation on life in the country,  and how the price of milk,  although seen a very modest upwards adjustment,   is still unacceptably low.

^ Graph showing actual (red) and intervention (blue) milk price equivalents.

^ Jeremy Featherstone,  Honorary deputy secretary

Jeremy Featherstone, honorary deputy secretary to the Society,   spoke eloquently on a special cable pull in device developed by his company,  Blue Ocean Projects Ltd. The Former Laird of Fingesk,  Gavin Murray-Thriepland,  delighted the members with his collection of non-ballistic militaria and presented some pictures of his son and heir. Big dick Tarn,  gave his usual account of this year's cycling tour ! John Beck’s presentation was on a subject close to our hearts.

Karl’s presentation was on a portrait that he had had commissioned showing the members of the Society at their silver jubilee celebrations.  The portrait had been produced in the style of Picasso.  It was unanimously approved by the members. Karl agreed to to have the Society Portrait framed so that it can be displayed at the Tower.

As long as any member of the society can remember,   Champagne has been enjoyed by members at Otterburn !.  The Treasurer of the Society,  Mr Scarborough, has long held the office of Director of Procurement of Champagnes and fine wines.   Mr Scarborough had earlier in the year assured members that a substantial quantity of excellent quality Champagne had been procured for the enjoyment of the members at Otterburn XXVI.

It is very much regretted that this Champagne was not delivered to Otterburn !

• It is sincerely hoped that this tradition of enjoying Champagne will be re-instated next year!

Despite consuming minimum quantities of champagne,  members were still able to enjoy an excellent dinner at the Tower Hotel.

Annual general meeting:

Members unanimously expressed their great disappointment that the traditions of the society were not been upheld.   Treasurer Scarborough offered no defence and had no alternative but to offer himself for re-election as Treasurer of the Society for another year.

Mr Scarborough was unanimously voted Treasurer of the Otterburn Society.  

Mr Firth also expressed his sincere regret that he had not been able to nominate Mr Scarborough for the post of Chairman of the Society in light of his failings relating to the organisation of the Society's Conference.

Mr Firth was very reluctantly persuaded to allow his name to be put forward in nomination for the office of Chairman of the Otterburn Society for a further year. 

Mr Basil Firth was unanimously re-elected Chairman of the Otterburn Society.

Dr Mark Cooper was re-elected Secretary of the Society.

The Wolfgang award was presented to Pearson Engineering for their development of the SPARK IED roller system.  On behalf of the inventors and the company,  Mr Flack was pleased to accept. The award was presented to Mr Fwack by The Chairman.

In light of the fact that minimal quantities of Champagne had been enjoyed at Otterburn XXVI,  it was noted that a substantial cash reserve was to become available.  It was unanimously agreed that the Society should donate the cash equivalent to the cost of one Nebuchadnezzar (15 l) of  Champagne to the Nchima Trust.  This donation was on the strict understanding that the money would be used to fund the supply of two ambucycles for the people of Malawi.  It was further agreed that these vehicles should be named 1.  Moet,  and 2.  Chandon !

Mr Scarborough agreed to organise this.

The two ambucycles, Moet and Chandon,  were delivered to the Nchima Trust in early 2008:

Members of the Otterburn Society sincerely hope that the people of Malawi also enjoy Moet et Chandon.

It is a long standing tradition that Cigars are enjoyed by the members at Otterburn.   Legislation has recently been introduced preventing members enjoying this simple pleasure in public.   Mr Flack again very generously donated a box of cigars which were enjoyed from outside the green room.  In defiance of this legislation,  Mr Firth again wore his smoking jacket and cap for the occasion.

^ Members enjoy their cigars from outside the green room.                                                                                              ^Mr Firth,  resplendent in smoking jacket and cap.

It is a long held tradition that members enjoy roast beef sandwiches prior to their re-enactment of the battle of Otterburn..

Unfortunately,  this year,  the Treasurer,  Mr Scarborough,   had failed to organise the roast beef sandwhiches. 

• It is sincerely hoped that this tradition will be re-instated next year!

The firework display started at 22:45.  There was no rein action of the Battle of Otterburn this year

Members left Otterburn on the Sunday morning confident in the fact that Mr Alastair Scarborough had been elected Treasurer of the society and therefore would be looking forward to a very successful 2008 Conference.

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